Sunday at 1 League Newsletter – Week 6

Six weeks in, the Sunday at 1 standings look like a fantasy crime scene. The Ickey Woods Division is bullying recess with The Shottenheimers (4-2) and Steel Curtain (4-2) flexing like they’ve got insider plays. Over in Boomer Esiason, Jobu Needs a Refill (4-2) still leads the séance, Red Zone Assassins (3-3) just rediscovered the red zone, and Buffalo Soldier (2-4) climbed out of the grave riding the Rico Express. Ken Anderson is a mid-table mosh pit—Cranjis (3-3), Jive Turkeys (3-3), Warbirds (2-4)—everyone’s average, everyone’s loud. Meanwhile, Chad “Ocho Cinco” features Droppin’ Deuces (3-3) and Hunka Hunka (3-3) pretending stability, while The Year (2-4) keeps preaching patience instead of points. And yes, CRUSHERS (3-3) are defending a title with 649.16 PF—which is adorable.

Buffalo Soldier (156.00) def. CRUSHERS (75.52)
Coach Dave resurrected the season with a biblical beatdown. Rico Dowdle exploded for 42.9 points while CRUSHERS forgot fantasy football requires scoring. Stafford’s arm looked like a wet noodle, and Chuck’s bench might as well have been a retirement home.
Coach Dave: “This was personal. Rico’s getting a statue.”

Red Zone Assassins (138.14) def. Romulan Warbirds (126.81)
Coach John’s squad snapped back with Daniels dancing and Chase cooking. The Warbirds had Bijan and still lost, proving once again that fantasy is pain. Dennis’s postgame presser lasted seven seconds and included only the word “unbelievable.”
Coach John: “We bled green and scored mean.”

Fighting Jive Turkeys (145.18) def. Jobu Needs a Refill (144.92)
A fantasy miracle — Coach Connor squeaked past Rich by a hair despite Mahomes doing Mahomes things. Dallas Goedert’s 28-point resurrection wasn’t enough to save Jobu. Rich’s postgame playlist? “Tears in Heaven.”
Coach Connor: “Mahomes didn’t need magic — just vibes and violence.”

Hunka Hunka Bernie Love (154.70) def. The Year (111.58)
Coach Brian’s team went full Vegas Elvis. London, Pickens, and JSN all hit 30+, while Neil’s “Church of Kyren” closed early. Even CMC couldn’t save him. Brian leaves Week 6 in a white jumpsuit and sunglasses.
Coach Brian: “Thank you, thank you very much.”

The Shottenheimers (132.52) def. Cranjis McBasketball (122.76)
Coach Chris keeps stacking Ws like a man escaping the Toilet Bowl prophecy. Meanwhile, Jackson’s team showed flashes but not enough fire. Josh Jacobs was heroic, but Puka and Sun God went quiet.
Coach Chris: “We don’t rebuild. We reload.”

Droppin’ Deuces (106.54) def. Steel Curtain (102.72)
Drake Maye finally flushed a win down the right pipe for Coach Brad. The Deuces avoided disaster while Jeff’s team looked like it was stuck buffering.
Coach Brad: “We may drop deuces, but they’re clean ones.”

Weekly Crown – Buffalo Soldier (156.00)

Coach Dave rode Rico and Swift into the sunset. Dowdle didn’t just run — he obliterated everything in his path. Redemption smells like victory and Gatorade.

Stud of the Week – Rico Dowdle (42.9 pts, Buffalo Soldier)

Back-to-back monster games from Rico, now officially the league’s Chuck Norris.

Dumpster Fire of the Week – CRUSHERS (75.52)

The reigning champ just got pancaked. Stafford’s the only one who showed up — and he brought a pool noodle for an arm.

Lineup Blunder – Tyquan Thornton (0.00 pts, Steel Curtain)

Coach Jeff must’ve thought Thornton was still in the CFL. Zero is a bold strategy, Cotton.

Upset of the Week – Buffalo Soldier over CRUSHERS

The Soldier marches again. From 1-4 to the week’s high scorer, Coach Dave’s comeback tour has begun. Chuck’s team remains missing — presumed lifeless.

Power Rankings  – Week 6 Edition

1. Buffalo Soldier (2-4) — Dowdle is Him.

2. Hunka Hunka Bernie Love (3-3) — Elvis lives, baby.

3. Red Zone Assassins (3-3) — The comeback tour is real.

4. The Shottenheimers (4-2)  — Toilet Bowl who?

5. Fighting Jive Turkeys (3-3) — Mahomes magic delivers.

6. Jobu Needs a Refill (4-2) — Still voodooing their way up.

7. Droppin’ Deuces (3-3) — Barely above septic level.

8. Steel Curtain (4-2) — Defense wins championships, not fantasy.

9. Romulan Warbirds (2-4) — Bijan deserves better.

10. The Year (2-4) — Church of Kyren? Closed for renovations.

11. CRUSHERS (3-3)  — From champ to chump.

12. Cranjis McBasketball (3-3) — Sun God flickering, chaos fading.

Closing Thought 

Week 6 reminded us: legends are born in the waiver wire, heartbreak lives in kicker stat lines, and every 0-point wideout is one step closer to the bench. Keep the faith — and start Rico Dowdle before he becomes self-aware.