WE ARE BACK!!!

Ladies, gentlemen, and fantasy managers still reeling from their playoff heartbreaks—welcome back to Sunday at 1, where hope springs eternal, bad trades are just one click away, and somehow, Coach Chuck is still bragging.

Let’s take a moment to relive the 2024 Fantasy Trifecta of Doom—brought to you by none other than CRUSHERS, your reigning, undisputed, trash-talk-certified champion. Not only did CRUSHERS clinch the championship with a casual 231.18 in the finals (sorry, Fighting Jive Turkeys), but also led the league in total points scored and highest single-game score with a ridiculous 224.62 in Week 10. Basically, they didn’t just win; they moonwalked through the league while everyone else was stuck in fantasy quicksand.

A moment of silence, please, for:

• Fighting Jive Turkeys, who cooked all season only to be deep-fried in the finals.

• Droppin’ Deuces, whose playoff run was the closest they’ve come to being relevant since 2017.

• Steel Curtain, who forgot defense doesn’t exist in fantasy football.

• Buffalo Soldier, still marching toward a title… maybe next year?

To the rest of you—thank you for your generous donation of wins, waiver wire mistakes, and poor start/sit decisions. Without you, CRUSHERS wouldn’t have had it so easy.

• Cranjis McBasketball – You had your moments, sure. But your season felt like a Netflix series canceled halfway through.

• Hunka Hunka Bernie Love aka Broncos Suck – Your team name aged like milk, and your fantasy results weren’t any fresher.

• Romulan Warbirds – You came in with intergalactic swagger but couldn’t conquer the end zone. Beam me up, playoff hopes.

• Jobu Needs a Refill – Apparently Jobu never got that refill. Your luck, and your bench, ran dry early.

• Next Year – Yet again, your name proves prophetic. It’s always next year, isn’t it?

• The Shottenheimers – Your fantasy strategy seemed based entirely on nostalgia and blind faith. Marty would not be proud.

• Red Zone Assassins – You were more like red zone volunteers. Appreciate the effort, but those targets were mostly misses.

New year. New season. Same delusions of grandeur. Let the 2025 games begin and may your sleepers wake up and your QB stay upright.

Ready to reclaim glory or just here for the memes?